


Backstories and other Secrets

by mycminion



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Animal Transformation, Backstory, Case Fic, Drinking & Talking, Drinking Games, Everyone is human now so all the agents are a bit different from the series obviously, Guilt, How Do I Tag, Human Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), Kidnapping, M/M, Mystery, Perry and Heinz talk a lot about their lives before they met each other, Perry's backstory, kinda i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27922318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mycminion/pseuds/mycminion
Summary: “But… you can’t be him.”, the scientist whispered more to himself than to Perry. “How could you be a human?”“I am sorry,” Perry managed to say now with more strength. “I was never-” he stopped unsure how to start. “I was born human.” Doofenshmirtz didn’t look like he believed him, but he also didn’t look angry anymore, so Perry decided to continue:“About a year before I met you, I had- .. there was a different evil scientist in Danville… An experiment went wrong and well… long story short she turned all of O.W.C.A’s Agents into animals.” Perry coughed again.“And you just lived as a Platypus for all this time?” Perry shrugged.
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus, Perry - Relationship
Comments: 33
Kudos: 118





	1. Perry the Human

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that this is not beta-read and also English is not my first language. The following story might include weirdly phrased sentences and nonsense words. Therefore constructive criticism and corrections are most welcome. Please also tell me if you think I should add a certain tag since I have no Idea how to tag this. Thank you.

They were in the middle of a fight. Good against Evil. The same old game as every day. Doofenshmirtz was running towards him with a huge shovel, a determined look on his face, frowning so hard his eyebrows drew deep lines into his face.   
A cunning grin showed his teeth and that was all Perry could focus on for a moment; perfectly white teeth coming closer and closer until he didn’t see anything at all anymore. 

  
“Huh?” Doofensmirtz uttered confused as Perry closed his eyes in pain, held his head between his hands and then collapsed on the ground. 

“Perry? I didn’t even hit you yet!” Doofensmirtz sounded almost disappointed but eventually his worry won. “What’s going on?” 

“Krkrkrkrkrkkr” was all Perry got out. His whole body felt hot and then cold, his head was pounding and then he was trembling - almost vibrating. The whole feeling might have been a bit familiar had Perry not been so overwhelmed with pain. 

Everything was white and hot and loud. It felt as if Perry himself was exploding and was taking everything around with him.   
Painfully slow he opened his eyes and saw a wide-eyed man in a lab coat standing over him, shovel still in one hand and his other hovering over his open mouth. Doofenshmirtz looked as if trying to decide if he should yell or faint. His skin looked pale - even more than usual. A rattling sound told him that Doofenshmirtz had let the shovel fall on the ground.

  
Perry raised his hand to ask his nemesis to help him up but Heinz winced back at the motion. Wait- Hands? He looked at the hand that was apparently attached to his body. Huh. Perry wiggled his thumb. Then his other fingers. Where did his paw go? He looked down on himself. He felt a hysteric laugh bubble somewhere behind his ribcage as he finally realised what had just happened.

  
Perry tried to open his dry mouth - teeth, that was weird - and tried to speak again for the first time in almost five years. His voice was deeper than he remembered and hoarse as if he had drunk a cup of cigarette ash. His vision blurred.  
“Hey Dr. D.” 

And then everything went black.

###

Perry had passed out again it seemed. His head was still a little bit fuzzy, but he realised that he was still on the ground, this time a few meters away from where he passed out. He tried to move but his arm was stuck in what seemed to be a trap for a Platypus.

  
Wow, had he really been this small that his traps now just fit his arm?   
He slowly started to regain consciousness when someone kicked his leg. His nemesis stood above him, pointing a gun at him that looked suspiciously like the Ugly-Inator.

“So? Who are you?” Doofenshmirtz demanded to know.

  
“What?” Perry said but it sounded more like a wheeze. 

  
“Who. Are. You.” he repeated. “And what did you do to Perry, hm? Where is he? If you did something to him I will- urgh! I don’t know! But you do not want me as your enemy, believe me!”

  
“Heinz...” His throat hurt so much. He coughed. “I am Perry.”

  
“No,” Heinz shook his head, “You see, Perry is a Platypus. He is barely tall enough to reach my elbow and he doesn’t talk; He is a platypus! Don’t play dumb with me!” 

  
Perry saw his little Platypus-Agent-Hat lying on the floor. He could reach for it. Maybe he will recognize me with the hat, he thought. 

  
Perry coughed again. “I- I don’t know what to tell you. This is me. I am Perry. Agent P. Your nemesis. I’ve known you for four years.” His voice gave out halfway through the sentence and the last few words were barely a whisper.

  
Doofenshmirtz huffed in annoyance and frustration. “So explain this to me, Mister: How would Perry suddenly be human? I don’t have a human-Iator here! At least I think I don’t. I would remember making an Inator that would turn Perry the Platypus human.”

  
“I- I know.”, he coughed again. Longer this time. His throat burned and his mouth was dry. 

  
“That.. doesn’t sound good. Wait here,” Doofenshmirtz left quickly and came back a few with a cold glass of water which he pressed into Perry’s non-trapped hand. After realising that the man was barely strong enough to lift the glass himself he held it up to his mouth and helped him drink. Perry thankfully swallowed it all and then took a few deep breaths. They were close, Perry suddenly noticed. Doofenshmirtz had kneeled next to him and was now looking at him with worrying eyes. 

  
“But… you can’t be him.”, the scientist whispered more to himself than to Perry. “How could you be a human?” 

  
“I am sorry,” Perry managed to say now with more strength. “I was never-” he stopped unsure how to start. “I was born human.” Doofenshmirtz didn’t look like he believed him, but he also didn’t look angry anymore, so Perry decided to continue:   
“About a year before I met you, I had- .. there was a different evil scientist in Danville… An experiment went wrong and well… long story short she turned all of O.W.C.A’s Agents into animals.” Perry coughed again. 

  
“And you just lived as a Platypus for all this time?” Perry shrugged. 

  
“Well that is just idiotic!” the scientist exclaimed. “Did you know you would turn back eventually? And you just accepted that you would live as a Platypus until then?” The look on Perry’s face must have revealed something to him because suddenly Doofenshmirtz was staring at him with an open mouth. “You didn’t even know if you would ever turn back, didn’t you?”   
Perry didn’t answer. He told himself it was because every cell in his body hurt, but actually he wouldn’t know what to say anyway. 

  
“Okay, no. There is no way you are _My_ Perry the Platypus then, because the Perry I know would never give up like that. He would certainly not just adjust to living as an animal, because he is way too clever! He would have found a way!” 

  
Perry’s stomach dropped. “I am sorry…” Perry whispered, not really sure what he was apologizing for. Seeing the faith his nemesis put into him like that clear on his face was making Perry’s eyes water. 

  
“Perry would never…. he would never…” Heinz just stared at the ground with a concentrated look on his face.

  
“... I don’t know how to prove to you that it really is me.” But he wasn't listening anymore.

  
"He would have told me." Doofenshmirtz's voice sounded awfully hollow. 

  
Shame was an awful feeling. It burned it's way through Perry's heart and left a big bleeding wound while his back and neck ran cold. He didn't dare to look up. They stayed silent for a while. 

  
"Fine," Doofenshmirtz unlocked the trap that held Perry's arm. "I am still not convinced it's you, since Perry would have broken out of that trap a long time ago, but you look exhausted and in a really bad shape and I am not leaving you here on the floor in that state. Come on up." He pulled Perry up on one arm and almost carried him to the nearby couch. 

  
Now that Perry was human again all his senses were reacting completely differently. He felt very sensitive to touch and everything smelled so different. His eyes were still adjusting and made everything look a bit blurry. When Doofenshmirtz pulled him up all he could focus on was the man's warm hands and strong hold. The smell of grease, sweat and a special brand of deodorant overwhelmed him. He lost his balance a bit and held on a bit more. It was overwhelming - in a bad and a good way at the same time somehow, but he was still glad to be on the sofa with a bit distance to the scientist.

  
He closed his eyes for a second and heard Heinz mumble something about tea and first aid kit. He woke up again when Doofenshmirtz gently shook him and pressed a thermometer in his hand and pulled out a stethoscope "I need to make sure you won't die on me here." he explained. 

  
After a basic examination - which was surprisingly gentle - Perry finally found the courage to ask.  
"Why are you so nice to me?"

  
Doofenshmirtz didn't look at him "It doesn't mean you are forgiven if that's what you mean. I just… don't know what else to do." There was a long pause. "I don't know who you are… anymore. If I even know you at all." 

And with that he stood up and went into the kitchen.

###

Heinz closed the kitchen door behind him and took a deep breath. 

_What the hell._

  
If he hadn’t been right there when it happened there was no way he would ever believe Perry could be the man on his sofa right now. He put the ugly Inator that was still in his hands on the kitchen table. It was the first weapon he could think of when he realised that a handsome stranger was unconscious in his living room. He just stared at the man for a full minute and then looked around in confusion to find any clue to what had just happened. 

  
It only got worse when Perry woke up, brilliantly brown eyes looking back at him, and looked so miserable and weak- Heinz couldn’t just let him lie there. If this really was Perry - and all facts pointed towards that he was - he was still his friend in some way. 

  
Or not. Because friends tell each other stuff, he thought.

  
He was used to not knowing much about Perry, since he was a secret agent and a platypus and probably wouldn’t tell him anything even if he asked but this- this was different! 

  
Heinz paced around in the kitchen after putting the water on the stove to boil, and tried to name the emotions he was feeling. It was all too confusing and he felt an awful lot right now. Aimlessly he started putting away and cleaning cups and plates he didn't bother to clean last night.

  
He felt.... betrayed, probably. That sounded right. He had thought Perry was a Platypus and he lied about that and- he couldn’t think of a reason why that would really make a difference for their professional relationship, so he moved on.

  
Except it was one of the few things he actually did know about the little agent: His name was Perry. He was a Platypus. And now not even that was true anymore. 

  
He also felt angry, he realised, but that was directly related to the feeling of betrayal so that was little helpful. 

  
He took a deep breath, pulled a cup of tea out of the cupboard and some honey and prepared the tea as slowly as possible.   
He also felt embarrassed. That one was harder to admit. And he felt that way for many reasons. How could he not have noticed? The animals in OWCA were all a bit more intelligent and manlike than most animals. He had full conversations with Perry that weren’t just one sided and he had always known that Perry was somehow more than just an animal. 

  
And now Perry was an intelligent human. He could talk, apparently. And he knew so much about Heinz while he knew nothing in return and it freaked him out a bit. And he was pretty! And pretty people were all the same, weren’t they? Vain and full of themselves and Perry probably laughed about him behind his back with his other Agent friends. Heinz’s hands were shaking and he let the hot cup of tea spill all over his leg. It burned. 

  
“Shit!”, he yelled and instantly felt tears swell up in his eyes. This was too much. He was in a full panic attack now and slowly lowered himself to the ground to sit with his knees pulled up. 

  
It took a few minutes until his breathing evened out and his shaking stopped. He stared ahead at a blank spot on the door, which Perry was behind. 

  
He was overthinking this, he told himself. Perry isn’t like those bullies from school. He maybe was his nemesis but he always helped him out when he needed something. They beat each other up but they never hurt each other otherwise. Mostly. This will all make sense soon. He just had to make Perry explain. 

  
When he was ready, he slowly got up from the ground and made the tea from the remaining hot water.   
Terrified he looked at the door. He would finally get to know his nemesis, and if he could still call him a friend.

###

Perry was sitting on Doofenshmirtz’s couch with a blanket around his shoulders. The scientist himself was in the kitchen making a racket with who knew what. 

  
“Hey Carl, I’m back!” he smiled into the camera of his little spy-watch.

  
“Yes! Good to see you back Agent P! How are you?”, Carl answered.

  
“You... don’t seem surprised.”

  
“We have been getting a lot of calls from Agents telling us the same thing in the last hour. We are on our way to help those who got injured or are trapped.”

  
“Injured?” Perry gasped. Talking was still hard.

  
“Agent E was flying over Danville when it happened.” 

  
“Oh..”

“He fell down 50 meter into a nearby park and we are currently getting him into a hospital… We will try to get to you as soon as possible. How is your status?

“Well, I am fine. Feeling a little sick but otherwise okay. I will continue thwarting Doofenshmirtz’s plans as soon as possible.”

“Perry that can wait, honestly. Are you hurt? Are you safe?” 

Perry looked up to the kitchen door where Doofenshmirtz was currently hiding or doing who knows what. “Yes, I am safe. I am at DEI. Don’t worry about me. Call me if I can help.” 

“Will do. Get some rest, Agent. We will call you when we’re on our way to pick you up.” 

“Thank you, Carl.” 

With a nod the Intern ended the call.   
So everyone was turned back, huh? Perry could barely believe it. Did that mean his old nemesis was back? Did she do this? Or did the effect simply run out? After almost five years, without a warning? Perry had almost gotten used to the fact that he was a Platypus now. Never had he thought that one day he would be able to transform back again. 

Perry took a deep breath. He felt like shit. His bones hurt as if he was run over by a truck and then hung on the ceiling at his toenails. It was weird being in a new body. He only just got used to his last one! In the glass table in front of him Perry looked at his reflection. He was the same as back then. He wore the same clothes, which somehow had disappeared when he was transformed back then, and had now appeared the same way. He should probably change them though. They smelled pretty bad.

His hair was still teal. He never understood why he had teal-like furr as a platypus, the colour was simply coloured in, but he had liked it.

A loud crash in the kitchen woke Perry from his trail of thoughts. “Shit!”, he heard Doofenshmirtz curse. Perry tried to get up but his feet wouldn’t let him. They trembled and Perry had to use all his strength to get up from the couch. The whole thing exhausted him so much that he instantly sunk back into the cushions. He won't be moving for some time then. 

A few minutes later the scientist emerged from the kitchen with two cups of tea and placed them both on the table. “This one is with honey, it’s good for your throat. Drink it and then … Explain yourself and … we can talk.” Doofenshmirtz didn’t bother to sit down. He stood on the other side of the table and crossed his arms, waiting. He seemed nervous, as if he didn't know what to do with his hands.

Perry eyed his cup cautiously. He didn’t think Doofenshmirtz would poison him, but they were in a weird situation that they haven’t been in before and Doofenshmirtz was looking at him with crazy eyes - which Perry didn’t blame him for. He didn’t know what Doofenshmirtz knew or what he was thinking and Perry didn’t know if he could trust the man under these circumstances.

But that was really it, wasn’t it? Doofenshmirtz didn’t know if he could trust him either, so Perry took a few sips and hoped it would prove he was still the same. The villain looked a little bit more calm but still not convinced. 

"Tell me something only Perry would know." The scientist demanded. He walked in circles next to the table. "Like… When is my daughter's birthday? No, that's too easy. You could know that from her file." He stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Okay then… What is my biggest fear?" 

Perry frowned and remembered the Biggest-Fear-Inator. "That vending machines will take over the world?" 

“Okay, but what are my phobias?”

“Bats and Shellfish?” 

Doofenshmirtz stared at him for a few seconds. "Okay. Good." Doofenshmirtz said, except his frown told a different story. He looked almost angrier. “So, you are now all human. You have always all been human.”

Perry nodded.

“Peter the Panda is human?” Another nodd. “Pinky the Chihuahua?” Again a nodd. 

"Actually his name is Chales." Perry added unhelpfully.

Doofenshmirtz rolled his eyes. He started pacing in the living room.  
“I still don’t understand! I turned myself into a Platypus once! Why didn’t you guys ever ask me to help you reverse the effects?” Perry knew what he really meant. Doofenshmirtz felt betrayed. _Why didn’t you tell me?_

  
“I- there were so many moments where I almost did. I- I really wanted to. But I had orders from Monogram.”

“Why would Monogram mind if you told me?” 

“He had spent years making his “ _animal farm_ ”-” Perry made air quotations around the words- “look like a strong agency to other secret organisations and the government. People made fun of the O.W.C.A., the government wanted to shut it down until Monogram convinced them it could be a strength. He saved us all from being put in a lab for the rest of our lives and let us keep our jobs. He tried to sell it as” - Perry made his voice deeper as he quoted Monogram- _Secret Agents: so plain in sight that no one would suspect them. An agent in every home, keeping America’s Children safe. -”_ It was a successful campaign.", he explained. “Telling you, or any other scientist, evil or not, could be a threat to the O.W.C.A. He wasn’t going to willingly admit the Organisations weaknesses to anyone in case they would exploit it." 

Perry coughed weakly. The honey-tea wasn’t really helping, but it was nice.

"He also knew you could help us. No one ever doubted that, but letting you shoot on all Agents with an Inator, which no one had the chance to supervise, was out of question. It was like giving you full control over everyone. Too easy to take advantage of. It just couldn’t be an option until you signed the document and would give up evil.”

It was quiet for a very long time. Perry silently sipped his tea and let Doofensmirtz think about what he had said.

Eventually Doofenshmirtz opened his mouth to speak again. A few minutes had passed and he didn’t look at Perry. “An Agent in every home? Does that mean you lived with a family as their pet?” 

Perry nodded. “Yeah.”

“Do they know you are an Agent?” 

“No, they couldn't. It was important that my Identity remained secret. They can't know about you and you can't know about them."

Heinz frowned. “So, what will you do now?”

“Oh…” Perry’s heart sunk. He hadn’t really thought about that yet. The Flinn-Fletchers were his family. Leaving them without a chance to say goodbye would break the boy’s heart. It had been hard enough for them to lose their uncle. “I guess I will see when Monogram and Carl will pick me up soon.” he eventually said and avoided Doofenshmirtz's pitying look.

"Do you have another family who missed human-Perry?"

"They were my family. As far as they know I went missing and a few months later they got a Platypus as a pet. I watched over them… but I think Monogram told them I had died. I am not sure I can return." Perry started to panic a bit. Will they just accept that he is back now? If now Perry guessed he could argue to just wipe their memory a bit. There is no way he would stay away from them forever. 

Why was he even telling Doofenshmirtz all that? It was supposed to stay secret! Perry’s head hurt and apparently he lost all his self control in the transformation process. At least he didn’t say too much, right? It was okay as long as he stayed vague and no Info about someone outside got out. 

Doofenshmirtz stayed quiet and deep in thought. Maybe he tried to figure out what he would do in Perry's place. Eventually he shook his head and then, probably after noticing that Perry was slowly panicking next to him, he changed the topic.

"I bet you're hungry. I will make some food. I don't think there will be any schemes today anymore, right? What do you want?" 

"I am not that hungry. The transformation killed my appetite, actually." Perry admitted.

"You should eat something. At least some soup?" 

Perry nodded and smiled. He felt awkward being cared for like that. It was usually the other way around.

Perry rested while Doofenshmirtz cooked and when it was ready they ate in silence, well, Perry ate. Doofenshmirtz just started at him. “You have more questions, “ Perry eventually stated and gestured to him to go on and ask.

“So… if you really are Perry the Platypus. Are you still my nemesis?” 

“That depends.” he answered and smiled smugly. Perry politely ignored that Doofensmirtz seemed to blush slightly at his raised eyebrow. “Are you still evil?” 

Doofenshmirtz opened his mouth but nothing came out at first. “If you think I am going to go easy on you just because you are a human now, you are greatly mistaken.” He eventually mumbled into his soup and Perry chuckled. 

“I was hoping you’d say that. I wouldn’t want anything to change, you know.” a soft smile formed his lips. Doofenshmirtz almost smiled back. 

“I hope you can give me a few days break? I still have to find a new home and reorganize my life. You know, buy a few human clothes and get a passport and so on.” 

Doofenshmirtz frowned. “Usually I wouldn’t agree, but I have to make some changes as well. All my traps are Platypus-sized.”, he explained grumpily. Perry laughed, surprising himself. It felt good.

He almost felt like himself again.


	2. Questions and Backstories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay I will tell you something. You can ask me 10 questions.”, Perry decides.  
> Doofenshmirtz raised an eyebrow. “Really? 10 questions? And you will answer them?” 
> 
> The Agent smirked in that way again that made Heinz’s stomach make weird flips. “Maybe.” Doofenshmirtz gulped. “But every time I do, you have to drink.” 
> 
> “You- A drinking game?” Heinz laughed. “Are you sure you're up for this? You seem pretty tipsy already.” 

Later he got a call from Carl, who told him he would only be able pick him up the following day. Doofenshmirtz awkwardly suggests that Perry could stay over. "It's not like I would let you sleep on the street!" he simply explained. 

  
After they were done eating they moved Perry back to the couch. Doofenshmirtz prepared the bed and looked for a spare toothbrush as well as a few clothes Perry could borrow to sleep in. When he returned to the living room Perry was staring straight ahead against the wall. When he noticed Doofenshmirtz watching him, he flinched. 

  
"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you!" Heinz half-whispered. 

  
"No, it's alright.”, Perry sighed. “I feel weird. I'm really tired but it feels like all my cells are awake. I don't think I can sleep tonight." 

  
"Oh I know what you mean. When I turned into a Platypus that one time I was fine but as soon as I turned back I felt all weird. I can’t imagine what it must be like after you were a platypus for four years! I was only one for a few hours.” He paused. “You know what helped?" He jumped off the couch. "I'll be right back!" 

  
Heinz quickly looked through his cupboards until he found an old bottle of red wine. “I got it from Monogram for my birthday last year. I hope it’s still good. It looks suspiciously like the bottle I gifted him the year before that.” He placed two wine-glasses in front of them. “Do you like wine?” 

  
“I haven’t had a drink in years. I will probably get drunk really fast.”, Perry said.

  
Heinz poured them both half a glass. “That’s probably even better. We will just trick your body into calming down. I have a few pain medications here, if you want, but when I tried them they reacted badly with the transformation and it made everything worse. This was the only thing that didn’t hurt or make me sick. You will fall asleep in no time and feel better tomorrow.” 

  
Perry cautiously took a sip. “This is really good,” he sighed.”Thank you for helping me with this. I don’t get why you do it, but it’s nice.” 

  
“Yeah usually you’re the one taking care of me, aren’t you? I think it was about time I should pay you back. I don’t like owing people something.” 

Perry just shook his head in amusement. He wasn’t going to mention that it was still not very ‘evil’ of him, no matter why he did it. Perry had stopped thinking of Heinz as evil a long time ago. He just waited for the scientist to notice it as well.

“I am still not 100% convinced you’re Perry, but… you know. Who would thwart my plans if not my nemesis?” Doofenshmirtz could already feel the wine help him relax. Ever since Perry transformed he had been weirdly tense. Perry was acting so different and he was suddenly so tall, well, taller than before. He was around average size for a human, but still smaller than

Heinz. His hair was so full and framing his handsome face- 

Doofenshmirtz coughed and took another big sip of wine.

“You know what? I can’t get used to you talking so much. Usually I do all the talking.”, he quickly said.

“We always seemed to understand each other pretty well anyway.” Perry grinned. 

“Yeah. It was usually you giving me unimpressed looks while I monologue. Maybe it’s time for you to give me your backstory, huh? You’ve got to have a reason that motivates you to fight evil.”

Perry chuckled. “That’s not going to happen, Heinz.” Doofenshmirtz tried not to dwell on his thoughts on how nice his name sounded when Perry said it like that. “You do realise why I have a secret Identity, right? You can’t know anything about my family in case you try to use it against me.” 

“Pff as if that would happen! I have a family myself! I know how much that would hurt! I would never do that! It kind of hurts that you would even think that.”

“I know, I know but those are the rules.” He doesn’t mention that it had already happened in the past. The boys and Candece had been in enough danger already. Perry wasn’t sure Heinz would still do it, but even if he believed in his nemesis, he wasn’t going to risk it. Perry shrugs and almost spills his wine. He quickly finished it. Doofenshmirtz refills their drinks. 

“You are right, this helps a lot.” Perry eventually admits, trying to change the subject. “I feel calmer already.” 

Doofenshmirtz continues like he didn’t hear him. “Okay, but I feel like you know everything about me and I know nothing about you! I don’t even- Is Perry even your real name? Or is that just your Agent Name?”

Perry laughed again. Doofenshmirtz could tell that he was a bit tipsy already. He himself starts to feel the alcohol as well. Heinz was suddenly super aware how close Perry was sitting. Maybe getting drunk around him wasn’t a good idea, after all.

“Okay I will tell you something. You can ask me 10 questions.”, Perry decides.  
Doofenshmirtz raised an eyebrow. “Really? 10 questions? And you will answer them?” 

The Agent smirked in that way again that made Heinz’s stomach make weird flips. “Maybe.” Doofenshmirtz gulped. “But every time I do, you have to drink.” 

“You- A drinking game?” Heinz laughed. “Are you sure you're up for this? You seem pretty tipsy already.” 

“I can handle it.” Perry answered in a really deep voice and grinned. “I don’t have to drink anything after all.”

“Have you always been this confident?” Doofenshmirtz crunched his nose in annoyance. “Okay, you know what? I’m in. What do I have to lose except that I might not remember anything you tell me after all this.” He leaned back.

“Question number one: What is your real name?” 

The Agent chuckled. “It’s Perry.”

“Well that was a waste of a question.” 

“Perry is more of a nickname actually but no one calls me by my full name.” 

“What is your full name then?”

“Is that your second question?”

“What? No! That’s still the first one.” 

“Alright, I’ll allow it.”, he chuckled. “It’s Percival.”

Doofenshmirtz was quiet for a few seconds. “Er… Yeah I can see why you would go with “Perry” instead of that one. But at least you have a nickname. “Heinz” is already so short you can’t turn it into a nickname that doesn’t sound weird. Not that anyone ever tried.” He looked into his glass.

“I like “Heinz” actually. Why would you change it?” 

“Is that your question?” Heinz asked, amused and grinned at his nemesis before he could stop himself. _Wait, is this flirting? This kinda feels like flirting._

“No, it was a rhetorical one. Drink.” Perry pointed at Heinz’s glass and he took his obligatory drink. A few seconds passed until Perry spoke up again: 

“You can ask your next question now.”

“I am thinking! This is harder than I thought. I don’t want to waste them!” 

Perry laughed. “Alright. If you don’t mind. I will give you a bit more time and go get changed. I have been wearing these clothes for four years now and they started to smell pretty bad.” 

When he got up he swayed a bit and Heinz grabbed his arm to steady him. “Alright there?” 

“Yeah, sorry. My balance is off without my tail.” Perry chuckled and blushed a bit as he patted Heinz’s hand.

Heinz nodded. “I put some clothes I found in my closet next to the sink for you. There is also a toothbrush and a towel. Feel free to shower.” 

“Oh I am going to take a really long shower. Long enough to make up for four years of having to wash fur.” Perry grinned.

“Thanks.”

Heinz had to swallow. The picture of Human-Perry under the shower brought those butterflies back; he tried to push down so hard. 

It was weird. In the last few years he felt like he had gotten to know Perry pretty well. They were friends, he had thought. Perry was one of the most important people in his life. He helped to make a cake for Vanessa's birthday every year. They celebrated Christmas together. Perry picks him up when he has problems and holds his hands through trying to fix them. He is proud when Heinz decides to do good every now and then and still never tries to change him or make him work through his childhood trauma faster. He gives him time and listens and gently makes Heinz a better person. In the last year that he had known Perry he had become a better parent, scientist, son, brother and friend. Heinz is who he is because Perry helped him; and still he doesn’t know who that man even is. He always thought he knew as much as there was to know. Perry was the best Agent of O.W.C.A first and foremost and Heinz’s nemesis and friend second. His friend.

And now Perry was all human-ly and attractive and looked at Heinz so kind and grateful for allowing him to sleep in his spare bedroom, smiling at him like he was the most brilliant thing he had ever seen - and Heinz had to quench that burning hope that there could be more...

By the time Perry emerged from the shower in an old christmas sweater and old sweatpants Heinz had written down 9 new questions that he needed to ask Perry and had opened a new bottle of wine. 

He looked ridiculous in his clothes. they were a bit too big for him and made him look cozy and cuddly. Heinz tried to not look for too long.

“Question number two: when is your exact birthday?” 

“I feel like you are indirectly asking me for my age?” The scientist looked down on his notes where he had written down and crossed out “how old?” 

“Er.. no?” he could tell Perry didn’t believe him but he smiled nevertheless.

“I’m 36 now. My birthday is March 5th. Drink.” 

Heinz did as he was told. “You know I feel like I am doing way too much drinking over here, all alone. You ask a question now.” 

“One you usually wouldn’t answer?”

“I guess?”

“Why did you get a divorce from Charlene?” Perry asked a bit too quickly. It was almost as if that question had been sitting on his tongue for a while now and he just finally got the chance to spit it out. Had he thought so much about it?

“I- Er..” Doofenshmirtz managed unhelpfully. “Sorry, that’s not what I expected. Uhm. Why?”

Perry suddenly looked very shy and maybe even embarrassed. “Oh, no reason.” which was obviously a lie. You would think a top Agent of O.W.C.A would be a better liar without all the fur covering his face. “It’s just a hole that has always been in your file. And she was never a cause for a backstory. You never really talk about her except when it's about Vanessa or money, but barely about your relationship. I guess I was just always wondering what the story was with her.” 

Heinz stared at Perry for a few more seconds. He opened his mouth a few times but nothing came out at first. It would make sense that Perry knew so much about him that the smallest gap would make him question it a bit. It was still hard to understand why he would care about that.

 _Because he’s your friend_ , his brain helpfully provided. And when he finally found the words to start talking it was like the person in front of him wasn’t the man who used to be a Platypus; he was just Perry. His nemesis and friend who he had known for years now.

  
“She was never a backstory because our marriage didn’t end badly, actually. I can still see Vanessa, which is what I actually care about, and we are still friendly.” He wanted to stop there, feeling like everything was said, but Perry looked at him with a very familiar look on his face that said “ _go on_ ”.

Doofenshmirtz took a deep breath, wondering where to start. “We got married because Charlene got pregnant. We were young, we met in college at a party. We had a few courses together and she was nice. Art school. I think I told you that once. After getting drunk at a typical college party we ended up in her roommates bed and you know…” Heinz blushed a bit. “One thing led to another and a few weeks later she called me to tell me she was pregnant. We were both scared. Her parents wanted us to marry and it made sense financially at the time and we agreed. We thought we could make it work somehow.

I worked job after job, which was hard without a degree. Sometimes I had about five at once. Hot dog vendor, Dog sitter, selling cinema tickets, washing cars, staying in line for people who didn’t have the time, taxi driver, pizza delivery. I could go on. I had every job out there.” 

He waved his hands around a lot and Perry chuckled. Heinz decided he really loved that sound. The wine hand loosened his tongue and he continued talking. 

“At one point I had a job at a little shop that repaired phones and re-sold them for a little money. The owner taught me a lot and he liked me, said I had a talent for fixing and building stuff. I told him about the Inators I had built so far and he decided to keep me. He even allowed me to take some stuff to repair back home and I was able to look after Vanessa more and Charlene could go back to college and even work. She was glad for the change. 

It was good for a while but we also spent more time together and we just realised there was no love between us. It worked for four years but eventually we realised we could stop pretending it was more than it was. Charlene wanted more. I wanted more. We weren’t happy. We decided we should have a divorce. Vanessa had had a good childhood and she would handle her parents divorce. She was a strong girl, even then. 

And that’s it.” he ended a bit lame. “Sorry there is now dramatic punshline or Inator. It was just life.” 

Perry was quiet and looked at him with a smile on his lips. “I am glad it all worked out. I am a bit confused, though. It always seemed like there was still some resentment between the two of you.” 

“Oh, make no mistake, we were civil for Vanessa but we still fought a lot. If we had worked through it instead of stubbornly insisting that the marriage was the right thing for everyone we could have gotten divorced a lot earlier. I think Charlene is a bit angry about that.” 

“And why did you decide to become evil after that?” Perry asked.

“Nope, that was your first question. Drink your wine if you want another one answered.” 

Perry rolled his eyes but obeyed. 

“How are you feeling?”, Heinz asked after Perry had placed his glas down with shaking hands. “Still restless?” 

“A bit, yeah.” 

“We continue then?” 

“Yes. Ask your question.” Perry’s head dropped to the couch backrest but he was still smiling.

“Question number three: What does your family think you do every day when you come here?” 

To his surprise Perry started to laugh out loud. “The best thing about being a Platypus: They never really cared as long as I came back. That’s the only thing I’m going to miss as a human.” 

“Well what did you tell your family when you were still human?”

“That I was going to work.”

“And they didn’t question that? Ask you where you worked or what you did all day or why you came home with bruises and smelled like smoke?” 

For some reason Perry suddenly stopped smiling, the corners of his mouth dropped and his eyes stopped shining like they just did. Doofenshmirtz felt like the sun had gone down. He wanted to take back whatever he had just said, just forget and move on. Say something stupid so Perry would laugh at him again. But for some reason he kept quiet. Maybe it was the way Perry put his wine glas down or how he rubbed his neck, but by the time Doofenshmirtz could have already said something several times, Perry was looking at him with a serious look in his eyes and Heinz decided to just wait and let him speak.

“Heinz, you have to understand I was a different man before I met you. I had a different nemesis who did everything a bit different and… I wasn’t a good guy back then.” 

Doofenshmirtz 'mouth apparently had a mind on its own because it started speaking before he could allow it to do so. “What do you mean not a good guy? You are the best guy I know! I- I mean- You know what I mean..” he blushed and Perry almost smiled again. Almost.

“Well uh..” Perry rubbed the back of his head again. “Thank you.” he almost whispered. So that was the wrong thing to say, Heinz thought and almost felt sick with panic. 

The Agent moved suddenly closer so that their knees bumped together in front of them. Sitting on the same couch made it awkward to face each other but it seemed to be important. 

“There are just things… that you don’t know about me.” he said, looking at his hands in his lab. There was a pause, where Heinz waited to hear more but that seemed to be all Perry could say.

“Uhm. Well yes. But that’s okay isn’t it? That the whole point of the secret agent thing-y. You just said so! There are just things I can’t know. And that's okay, I suppose. I will earn to know them at some point. Maybe. Who knows. Sorry, I am rambling. Why is this important?” 

Heinz actually wanted to know. He needed to know as much as possible desperately. But probably not this. Perry looked at him with so much pain in his eyes that Heinz was pretty sure: this is not one of the things I need to know. 

Perry didn’t answer. His gaze was fixed on his twisting hands and Doofenshmirtz reached out to keep them from twisting because it made him anxious himself. And then he noticed that he was just holding Perry’s hand and neither of them pulled away. Gently he stroked his thumb over Perry’s hand just to get a reaction out of him. To make him look up again, but the Agent stayed silent. 

“What is it? What did I say?” Cautiously he lifted his other hand to place it under Perry’s chin and pull his gaze away from their hands. He wasn’t crying as Heinz had almost expected, but his eyes portrayed pain and his face was furrowed in worry. 

Eventually Perry whispered: “Ask your next question.” 

He wasn’t going to talk about it then. That’s okay, Heinz thought. Just because I can easily talk about my backstories now doesn’t mean everyone can. I worked hard to get there too. At least he said that there was something to know at all. That means a lot already, doesn’t it?

Heinz looked at his questions and read the next one. “How did you become a secret agent? Or I guess my actual question would be _Why_. That’s something I still don’t quite get. Why would you put so much energy into all this?” 

“I could ask you the same, you know? Why did you turn evil?” 

“Really? Did you not listen to a single backstory I ever told you?” Doofenshmirtz tried to push down the feeling of disappointment but he was pretty sure it showed on his face.

“In your story about your divorce it sounded like you ended everything in good terms. And then suddenly a few years later you are on O.W.C.A.’s list. I was just wondering when your turning point was. Did you just one day wake up and decide that being evil was the way to go?” 

“I- no, I never really decided exactly.” Heinz looked out of the window for a while. “I guess there were lot’s of things that led to it. After my job at the repair-shop I decided I wanted to be an inventor. You remember I used some of my technology to improve the ophthalmologist's chair for eye examinations and then got some money out of it. And I made my own computers and sold them until I had money to get a degree. I did some online classes and got my degree in engineering. I had a lot of time back then and finished pretty quickly. And while I was still working on my degree and working at the repair-shop and even taking care of Vanessa every now and then, I made my first Inator that you could consider “Evil”. And I submitted to many trade fairs and exhibitions to get to present it. And only one fair allowed it to be shown. I later found out that It was a Fair for Evil Inventions - the FEI, maybe you know that one - and many people asked me what my motivation was for building it. 

One guy - Andy - talked about the beauty of revenge and asked what my goal was. He asked me what I truly wanted. And I said I didn’t know, but he said I did know, I just had to look deeper into my heart. Who hurt me? What made me angry? And he said think about that and then tell me when you build your next Inator. He just wanted to see what I could do. I thought he was interested in hiring me or buying, so when I had build my next inator, I invited him to take a look.”

Heinz paused and Perry got the feeling that this was one of the backstories Heinz was still too hurt about to talk about them easily. But to his surprise, he continued.

“We did this a lot back then, just talk about Inators, and then at one point he used one of them for his own plans. I didn't know until later. He robbed a bank with my Turn-into-a-chicken-Inator. He split the money and I think that's what got me on O.W.C.A.'s list, because I know you guys tracked that missing money back to me but it wasn't enough evidence for an arrest. At least that's what my lawyer Joe said. But the next day you showed up. 

I had a fight with Andy about using the Inator for his own plans. And I wasn't that kind of guy who would rob a stupid bank anyway. I just wanted.. well anyway. Andy got angry and ditched me.”

Perry bit his lips. Were they more than friends back then?

“After that I still went back to the conventions and meetings and a few trips to a bar every now and then. It was nice. I got feedback on my Inators. You kept showing up so I kept building them. 

The combination of enjoying the group of likeminded people, needing the attention and wanting to finally succeed ended up being-” he waved his hand around his living room “-this. There was never enough to motivate me to build something good for others because everything I ever wanted in my life was... I just never understood what drives people to be good. I just did what I felt like.” 

_Everything he ever wanted was to be seen_ , Perry thought. 

"I think you do." he said quietly.

"What?"

"You have so much that drives you to do good. So much." Perry almost looked sad. 

Heinz bit his lip. The man in front of him looked suddenly so young. They both suddenly were very aware that they were still holding hands. For a moment neither of them said anything, and Perry tried hard to think of something to say that would show his nemesis that he wasn’t alone. That he was seen. But perry had never been good with word. Eventually Heinz broke the silence.

“You didn’t answer my question.” he pointed out. “Why did you become a secret agent?”

“It’s not a really interesting story I’m afraid.” Perry shrugged. 

“Doesn’t matter. I want all the details.” Heins grinned.

“I was good in school but also kind of a troublemaker, I guess.” Perry began and Heinz gasped. “You!?” 

Perry shushed him and continued.“One day I got detention and my teacher Mrs. Rathford - one of those who still believed there was good in me - said I had to assist her helping a few children with their homework after school. I did that for about a year and got close to the children. It really turned me around. They all had some problems at home which is why they stayed longer in school. Eventually we were all friends, sort of. One of the younger boys - Freddy - was bullied a lot. At one point his stuff was stolen and we all started a great investigation and all tried to find out who it was. It was fun. We turned a bad situation into a game. I realised then that It felt good to help people and stand up to bullies and make a change.

Later that year I had counselling about my career plans. Mrs. Rathford suggested teaching. When I said that I don’t really see myself there she suggested Police. And that's where I went. I was good at my job and eventually I was scouted by Monogram. He invited me to work for OWCA…. And here I am.” 

“Wow…” Heinz said. “You were right! That was not exciting at all.” Perry chuckled.

Heinz waved his hands around. “Let’s just move on. Question number five: What else do you do in your life?”

“Like what? Hobbies?” Heinz nodded. “I was always so focused on my work. There is not much I would do. Before and after the incident.”

“Really?”

Perry shrugged “I would go training but that was it. That’s nothing you can call a hobby.”

“Well what would you do If you had the choice? I can’t believe you never had any free time in your entire life! No Instruments? No clubs in school?”

Perry was definitely blushing now “ … You will laugh.”

“Probably. Tell me anyway.”

He rolled his eyes. “I used to go to wrestling matches in college. Maybe I would do that again.” 

Before he could finish Heinz was already laughing loudly. “And what? Fight people in dark allies after your job where you fight people in dark buildings? ”

They laughed and Heinz started talking about some of his hobbies Perry might enjoy and a few minutes later he was almost lying on the ground laughing even if it wasn’t all that funny, but he couldn’t help but feel happy. The way Heinz picked on and made fun of him while still laughing with him, made Perry feel almost forgiven. 

“Oh I know now! We could take up aerobics again!” Heinz reminded him of that time he had tricked Perry into doing that aerobics video as a ploy to trap him. 

“No way!”, Perry exclaimed, “That did not end well!” He knew he was way too loud but he couldn’t stop himself. The second bottle of wine was almost gone now. Although he barely had three glasses. 

“But until then it was fun, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. It was fun.” Perry admitted now. “More fun than I have had in awhile.”

They smiled at each other for a moment like idiots. Heinz looked away first. “Ready for your next question?”

“Sure.”

“What happened with your last nemesis?”

Perry signed now a And didn't look Heinz in the eyes. "I told you. She turned us all into animals." 

"She defeated you? Then why isn't she the leider of the Country now? Why aren't you still fighting her?"

“We don’t know where she is. There hasn’t been a lead on her since. Our guess is that she was also turned into an animal and had the chance to escape in all the chaos.”

Doofenshmirtz looked at him with a curious gaze, his hand keeping his head up under his chin. He was listening. 

Perry took a deep breath and sat up. He took another sip of wine. "She was my first real nemesis. Before that I fought a few criminals here and there but they all went to jail and that was it. She was the first one that always escaped." he paused. “I got frustrated after a while. She changed her location almost daily. It took weeks of work to figure out where she was this time and when I found her my goal was to arrest her and get it over with. I had a perfect record until she showed up and I just wanted her case to be over, you know?” Perry signed again. “I should have- Just once I should have.. listened to her. I never bothered to ask why she was doing all this. I never tried to get to know her motives, I just assumed I had it all figured out. She stole from local laboratories and hospitals. All I could think of was she must be an evil scientist of some sort and that was it.”

Doofenshmirtz frowned, but for once, didn’t interrupt. Perry kept explaining:

“Had I asked what she wanted to do, I would have learned what she was struggling with. I could have helped, she would have never freaked out and built that machine that turned us all into animals.” 

Doofenshmirtz waited a few seconds until he was sure that Perry was done until he asked:

“That’s it? That’s your big secret? You weren’t a Good Guy because you didn't let your nemesis Monologue? There are worse things Perry! It doesn’t make you evil! To think that I almost got my hopes up.”

“It is more than that, though. I was a reckless agent, and I was arrogant because of it. And it led to so many mistakes and … God, if I had just listened back then, I would have saved a lot of people a lot of pain. I am the reason why half of O.W.C.A.'s Agents were animals for four years!" 

A single tear ran down his cheek. Heinz didn't even try to fight down the urge and wiped it away with his thumb. 

“None of them ever blamed me, but… I can’t help feeling guilty for that. I- I think that’s why I just accepted it for myself.”

“Accepted what?”

“That I would just stay a platypus forever. It was my fault. I had no right to complain.”

“Oh Perry…” Heinz hugged Perry tightly while the smaller man wept into his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!


	3. Drinking and Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How many questions was that now?” 
> 
> “Uhm… I have one more.” 
> 
> “Hit me.”
> 
> “What's your favourite food?”
> 
> “Really? That’s an important question for you?”
> 
> “Just curious. I am an excellent cook. I can cook for you sometime.” 

At some point they went out on the balcony and since Heinz never invested in outdoor furniture they lied down on the ground and looked up to the stars. 

  
"Can I tell you another secret?" Perry whispered. 

  
"I don't think I can drink any more." 

"No that's not what I meant, you don't have to.. I just wanted to say: I understand."

"Whatdaja mean?" Doofenshmirtz tongue felt heavy in his mouth.

"I get why you are evil and I think you have every right to be." Perry eyed Heinz’s face to check his reaction but when just confusion came he continued. "I am so drunk. Here we go." Perry sat up to be able to look him in the eyes. 

"So many things in your life happened that you didn't deserve. You were just a child. Someone should have looked after you, and been there for you and I am sorry you didn't have anyone. You are so amazing for being strong enough to get through all this and you are right to be angry at the people who did this to you. I never expected you to forgive anyone and I understand that you want revenge in some way, even if that just means that you want to be recognised and seen for who you are. And- and I see you, and you are brilliant-" 

Perry didn't get to finish. Suddenly Doofenshmirtz's nose bumped into his own and a he pressed their foreheads together. Perry had fully expected a kiss but Heinz hesitated. Perry could feel the heat rise in his cheeks the same way he saw it on Heinz's but neither of them moved. When Heinz seemed to slowly move away again Perry gently grabbed his arm. He sees Heinz’s eyes widen slightly but doesn’t move away. His gaze goes from his eyes to his mouth and when he notices Perry staring at his lips he gasps quietly. Eventually Perry moves forward and kisses him gently, slowly. It was barely more than a peck and then Heinz feels Perry’s warm and sweet tongue lick over Heinz’s bottom lip. 

Heinz pulls back a bit. “Your’re drunk.” 

“So are you” 

“Maybe we shouldn’t...”

“Do you not want to?” He sounded flirty but Doofenshmirtz also thought he heard a hint of panic in his voice. 

“I just… I don’t trust myself right now.” 

“Okay.” Perry looked a bit sad, but pretended not to be pretty well.“Do you want to go to bed yet?” 

“No.”

“Ask me another question, then.” They were sitting next to each other now. Still close but only their legs brushed against each other.

“Are you a father?” Heinz eventually asked and drank from his wine. He topped up both their drinks until the bottle was empty. That was the last one.

“Why would I be a father?” 

“I was just wondering… You are in an age where you could be father. And you were always so good with Vanessa. And so understanding. I thought maybe that was something we had in common.”

“I am not a father.” Doofenshmirtz just nodded. “But I am an uncle.” Perry continued. “And I love them to death. I would do everything to keep them safe and happy. Leaving them.. was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” 

“Can you tell me what they were like?” Doofenshmirtz asked.

“I can’t tell you their names, but… One is a teenage girl. A bit younger than Vanessa right now. She has her first boyfriend and a few friends. She can be a bit overbearing like teenage girls are, but she loves her family. She is clever and ambitious. She will be a lawyer one day, I bet. She has a very strict attitude with rules and values fairness. The boys are eleven and twelve. Very talented with tools and engineering.They are so pure of heart. They just want to have fun and make everyone happy. They are so selfless. No idea where they get that from. Certainly not my brother.” 

“I bet they would be happy to know that you are alive and well.”

“Yeah.” 

They were silent for a while. 

“Anyway, I don’t think I will have children.” 

“Why not? You’re good with them.”

“Yeah but I kind of have enough children in my life-”, Perry swallowed. “-and I’m gay, so...” 

It was silent for a while. Then Perry heard a quiet scratching. Heinz had his notebook on his lab. 

“Are- are you writing that down!?” Perry spluttered.

“If we keep drinking like that I will forget until tomorrow!”

Perry laughed, “We just kissed you oaf!”

“Well that doesn’t have to mean anything! We are both drunk!” 

_Oh._ “It doesn’t?” Perry asked. 

Heinz bit his lip and avoided Perry’s gaze. 

“You might reconsider when you wake up tomorrow, trust me.” Heinz looked sad at that. Like he was speaking from experience.

“And what If I won’t?” No answer. “We have been more than nemesis for some time now, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, but not … this.” 

“Yes, but just because I was a Platypus!” 

Heinz gaped “You- you mean- If… If you wouldn’t have been you would have done something sooner?” 

Perry blushed. “I just… I like you. So I was there for you in the way I could. And I thought If I wasn't… you know, a platypus. Maybe?” Perry’s eyes grew wide when Heinz didn’t say anything. “Unless you don’t want to! I mean- we can just.. Pretend it never happened. I- I can do that, really-” 

He interrupted himself when he felt Heinz’s hand on his, an apologetic smile on his face. 

“Let’s talk about this some other time, okay?” Heinz said. “It’s a bit much for one day. You just turned into a human a few hours ago. I- I am learning so much about you in so little time. Give me time to process it all, okay?” He rubbed the back of his neck.  
Perry took a deep breath and nodded. That makes sense. After a long silence between them where they both just drink their wine Perry smiles.

“What else is on your list?”, he asked to change the topic. Heinz instantly relaxed a bit beside him.

“Uh let me see…” Heinz squints down at his handwriting.” What does this say? Oh! Would you ever turn evil for me?” he chuckles. 

Perry laughs. “How do you mean that? What happens in this scenario where I turn evil FOR you?”

“Like if the O.W.C.A. would ever I don’t know... do something you don’t agree with and then you would have to fight them and we would be on the same side.”

“But in that case It wouldn’t be for you it would be for my own morals.” 

“Urgh Morals, Schmorals.” Heinz waved his hands around. “Alright, what if they attacked Vanessa because they think she was evil and I asked for your help. Would you be on our side?”

“Is Vanessa evil in this scenario?” 

“Have you not met my daughter? She doesn’t have an evil bone in her body!”

“Hm. I don’t think I would turn evil, exactly. But I would fight for you. And I would gladly have you on my side one day.”

Heinz looked away. “Yeah, maybe.” 

“How many questions was that now?” 

“Uhm… I have one more.” 

“Hit me.”

“What's your favourite food?”

“Really? That’s an important question for you?”

“Just curious. I am an excellent cook. I can cook for you sometime.” 

Perry smiled at that. “I really have to think about this. It's been so long since I could eat whatever I wanted. My Platypus body couldn’t have everything. I think what I missed the most was Mac n’ cheese, though. My brother has the best recipe and I was so angry when I couldn’t have any as a Platypus.”

“Alright then. Mac n’ cheese it is.” Heinz wrote it down. 

Heinz could see Perry watching him in the corner of his eyes but refused to look at him. The agent shifted a bit awkwardly and finally opened his mouth to say what was on his mind. 

“I … am sorry. For earlier. Just now. For jumping you.” Heinz could feel himself freeze up but forced himself not to react to Perry’s words.

“I guess I will need some time until I am used to being in a human body again.” Perry continued. “All these emotions and new sensations, I- I am sorry. I don’t quite know what to do with myself to be honest.” He heard Perry gulp loudly before the Agent added quietly. “Don’t worry I will be back to normal soon enough. It will be just like always, if you still want me as your nemesis.”

Heinz couldn’t stop himself from gaping at his friend this time. “Why- Why wouldn’t I want you?”, he blurted out before he could think about the implication in that sentence.

Perry blushed slightly. “Just… think about it, alright? I know this is a big change. If you’d rather have someone new-”

“Perry-”

“All I am saying is: I would understand, alright? You’re saying that now but you might reconsider tomorrow, or after a week or sometime later.” Heinz tried not to think how much that sounded exactly like what he said earlier after the kiss. “I don’t want you to feel like you don’t have a choice in this, because- because I am still here as an agent first and your- your friend second. And if that doesn't work anymore…”

_What?_

“Are you saying-” he stopped himself. “Are you saying I should request a new nemesis … so we can…” he didn’t dare to finish that sentence, but Perry seemed to understand him anyway. As always. 

“Just think about it?” Perry looked into his wine glass. Heinz didn’t say anything. 

The scientist was tired. But he didn't want to go to bed before Perry was ready and felt better. He asked a question that has been on his mind instead.

"So your last nemesis..." Perry froze but listened, so Heinz continued. "What did she want? Did u ever find out why she turned evil and stole all that stuff?"

Perry nodded slowly and looked back at the stars. He suddenly looked a lot older, tired and sad. "That is a backstory for another time." 

Heinz nodded, "Good. Some other day. Backstories are important, you know. I understand that it's hard but you should talk about it. With someone. Not specifically me."

"Yes, I know. It's all in the backstory. It's the most important part of the job." Perry smiled sadly.

"Is that why you always make such a point of listening to mine?" 

Perry spoke quietly: "I am never making that mistake again. I am here to help, you know? If not, then what am I even good for? I will stay until you turn to the good side or give up. You're not getting rid of me." Perry's gaze never left the night sky. Heinz was glad about that, because then Perry wouldn't see his crushed face.

 _Perry could have defeated him a long time ago_ , Heinz suddenly realised. But he chose not to so he could be there for him. Heinz waited a few moments to collect his voice.

"You are a much better Person than you give yourself credit for, Perry the Platypus. You would do that for anyone, wouldn't you?"

Perry smiled. "Maybe, but it's a pleasure doing it with you." 

The Agent finally looked at him. Gentle brown eyes met his. For a few brilliant seconds Heinz felt nothing but warmth. 

"I am glad you're here, Perry."

"Me too." 

Their bodies touched from shoulder to leg and neither of them moved.

They both finished their drinks in silence before Perry announced that he was ready for bed now. 

“Thank you, Heinz. For taking care of me and listening and, you know, everything.” Perry thanked him like the gentleman he was. 

“No problem.” 

Perry smiled gently before going back inside to the guest bedroom. There was a second where he thought Perry was going to kiss him again but nothing happened. With a small smile on his lips the former Platypus went inside, leaving Heinz with his thoughts.

He looked down at the last question he had written down earlier that day. 

10\. What am I to you? 

He sighed. _I guess I kind of have an answer for that now,_ he thought.

They had to figure it out together. They had to choose each other. 

* * *

10 Questions for Perry: 

  
1\. What is your full name?  
2\. ~~How old?~~ Birthday?  
3\. What does your family think you do all day?  
4\. Why/ How did you become an Agent?   
5\. What else do you do in your life?  
6\. What happened with your last nemesis?  
7\. Are you a father?   
8\. Would you ever turn evil for me?   
9\. Favourite food?  
10\. ~~Do you~~ ~~Are we~~ ~~What is this that we have?~~ What am I to you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit awkward to write... I dont know exactly where this story is going yet but i have a few more chapters planned! 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	4. Encounters and Avoidances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And this is your bed,” Monty points in a room that used to be an office. Two cheap folding beds were cramped in there. 
> 
> “Thank you.” Perry placed his bag on one of the beds, when he noticed another bag was next to the other bed. “Who sleeps here?” he asked.
> 
> “Agent Kim. He came in yesterday night. A few of them are currently out to eat pizza. You could join them if you want? They are just down the street.
> 
> “Ah. Yeah. Maybe. Thanks.” Perry couldn’t think of a worse thing right now than looking in the faces of the people whose life he destroyed five years ago.

“No way! It was the brother!?” Heinz yelled at the television. 

  
The next morning they both woke up a bit hungover. Heinz insisted that the best way to spend the morning was to watch Telenovelas and eat Mac n’ Cheese for breakfast. Perry had almost kissed him again at that moment.

The credits rolled before a new episode started and Perry laughed. Heinz gaped at him. “Don’t tell me you guessed that!”, he dared him. Perry just laughed again. “It was obvious!” 

“How was that obvious?” They were sitting under a big blanket, huddled together. A fire was burning in the fireplace and Perry never wanted to leave. 

“He was the only one left! It made no sense that it was the mother, she was on the other side of town at the time and they never got into detail on his sister's death, so there had to be a story there-”

“Okay stop!” Heinz interrupted him, but he was laughing now, too. “I am never watching Telenovelas with a former Detective ever again” 

“Oh come one, I am enjoying myself and I know you love it!” Perry ate another spoonful of Mac n’ Cheese to hide his blush.   
Next to him Heinz just smiled. It had been a long time since Perry last saw him this relaxed. I never want to leave, he thought again. 

As if on cue, his wristwatch started to ring. 

_“We will be in front of DEI in ten minutes. Can you come down or do you want us to come upstairs? - Carl”_

“Are they here to pick you up?” Heinz guessed correctly. 

Perry nodded. “I should be downstairs in ten minutes.”

He packed his things and changed his clothes as slow as he was allowed, which was impressive considering he didn’t own that much. Norm had washed Perry’s clothes over night and he was grateful for that. In his uniform, Perry felt ready to tackle the real world again. Nine minutes later they stood in front of the door. Heinz handed him his tiny hat. 

“Keep it,” Perry insisted. “I will get a new one anyway.” 

Doofenshmirtz smiled. “Well,... goodbye.” he said lamely and cringed. “Keep me updated? You could text me.” he added quickly. 

Perry smiled. “Yeah, I will.” 

When he turned to leave, he encountered a familiar teenage girl in the hall. “Hello Vanessa, have a nice weekend.” he greeted.

“Hello?”, the girl replied politely, but clearly confused by the man. Perry smiled and stepped into the elevator. As Vanessa walked into the flat and he heard the soft mumbling of the two Doofenshmirtz's through the door. 

The door closed just after he heard a loud scream:

“THAT WAS PERRY?”

Still a smile on his face he left the building shortly after and towards the conspicuously inconspicuous vehicle of OWCA. His smile vanished when he noticed not only Carl and Monogram in his car but also Monty. Next to them sat the Agents Peter the Panda and Agent Pinky a.k.a Charles, who gave him a hesitant smile. 

Something was up. 

Wordlessly, Monogram handed him his old hat. Human-sized. 

“What’s the damage?” Perry asked after he sat down next to his old colleagues. Carl started driving. Peter glared at him. 

Monogram started explaining. “We had to wipe the memory of a few families but that was nothing we didn’t do before. Agen E will be okay. Agent W was found by a few fishermen and is also safe. Right now we are monitoring our biggest villains in the area to make sure that they won’t exploit the situation and try something. We are cooperating with a few other organisations. Every villain is temporarily assigned to a new Agent from a different Organisation. Any updates on Doofenshmirtz?”

Perry shook his head. “He won’t try anything in the next few days at least, but surveillance won’t hurt.” 

Monogram nodded and typed something on his phone. “Good because we have other problems now. Dennis escaped.”

 _The white rabbit?_ Perry was a bit taken back. He hadn’t thought about him since he was locked up a few years ago. Dennis had been his partner a while ago until after the transformation. He was one of the few who didn’t appreciate being turned into an animal for an unforeseeable time. _Understandably._

“He turned human and grew out of his cage. Destroyed it completely and escaped. He is one of the most likely to take revenge now. Peter and Pinky have agreed to take up the case. Is there anything you can think of? Where could he be? What will he do?”

Perry felt suddenly very useless. He had expected to get the case and not Peter. There was no way he could help without being involved a little bit. 

Not to mention he had no idea what Dennis could be doing. Perry just shook his head. “I will tell you when I think of something, but there won’t be anything we don’t already know. We checked all his hideouts and accomplices already in the past. There is nothing else I could offer you right now.”

Monogram nodded again. 

Charles turned to Perry. “Someone thinks to have spotted him near Seattle. Do you think that is him?” Perry looked closer at the picture Charles had handed him. It was blurry and the figure in question didn’t face the camera. “Those are definitely the clothes he wore that day.” Perry stated. 

“Any Idea what he could be doing in Seattle?” Perry shook his head. 

“Alright,” Monogram began after a brief pause. “While Peter and Charles look into that, we will take you back to the headquarters and let you get settled in. 

The van stopped abruptly. The door flew open. Perry felt thrown out. “Monty will get you your papers and a place to sleep. Get some rest and call us if you think of anything.” 

Perry wanted to protest but Monty pushed him out of the car and went after him. “Wait!” he stopped the man. “Did you hear anything about Cara?” 

Monogram frowned. “No. Not yet. Carl has a program set up that looks for her via facial recognition on Danville's street surveillance but nothing so far.” he paused. “I don’t think we will hear anything from her. Our guess is she died that day.”  
Agent P wasn’t convinced but turned to go with Monty, who smiled at him as soon as the car moved back out of the street.

They walk a few steps towards the Headquarters. 

“It is so nice to see you, Perry! You look good! Taller than I expected.” he attempts to break the ice. Perry was still smaller than Monty. 

“Thank you, Monty.” Perry smiles. He always liked Monogram’s son. He was cheerful and not afraid of a bit of danger. Responsible, too. Monogram was right to assign him the supervision of getting the Agents settled into life again. “So what happens now?” 

“We have a few rooms set up. You will probably have to bunk with someone though. It’s getting a bit full. Most Agents are finally out of the hospital.” He must have seen Perry’s pained expression because the Agent suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. 

“You know that no one really blames you, specifically, right? If anything they are all a bit upset they weren’t there in time to help you. I wasn’t there obviously, but from what I heard from Dad and the other Agents so far, it was pretty much out of your hand to stop her.” 

Perry didn’t say anything. For the first time he wished that he was a Platypus again, so no one would expect him to speak.   
Monty gives Perry a bag of stuff they took from the Flynn-Fletchers home before they would throw it away. Perry never thought they would do that, but Monogram said since they believed him to be dead he should collect a few things he wanted to keep for himself. They didn’t know yet if he would ever return back then. 

“And this is your bed,” Monty points in a room that used to be an office. Two cheap folding beds were cramped in there. 

“Thank you.” Perry placed his bag on one of the beds, when he noticed another bag was next to the other bed. “Who sleeps here?” he asks.

“Agent Kim. He came in yesterday night. A few of them are currently out to eat pizza. You could join them if you want? They are just down the street.

“Ah. Yeah. Maybe. Thanks.” Perry couldn’t think of a worse thing right now than looking in the faces of the people whose life he destroyed five years ago.

“There is another thing.” Monty began. He twisted his hands anxiously. “My Dad doesn’t want you working on any cases yet because he thinks Dennis or your old nemesis Cara will be out to get you. He hopes to force them to show themselves in public if they can’t find you. So don’t go too far, alright? And always carry your watch with you.”

“Yes, Sir.” he answers. That made sense. Still hurt, though. Monty smiled proudly and then left Perry to settle in.   
He was finally alone. Shit. What now? Perry hid his face in his hands and considered if he wanted to cry. He felt like he had cried enough at DEI already. Looking back he was ashamed of it, even if it helped. Heinz would laugh at him right now for caring more about his reputation than about his well being.   
Heinz. 

Talking all night had helped a lot. And even after the crying Heinz had looked like he wanted the kiss. Perry felt his face get hot. He was probably beet red right now. He shouldn’t have done it. He shouldn’t have kissed him.  
Quickly Perry shook his head. There was no point worrying about that now. It would figure itself out soon enough. To get his mind off things, Perry decided to look into his bag. He didn’t remember what he had packed back then. His heart stopped when he looked inside. 

The first object was a picture of him with the Flynn-Fletchers. It was Candace’s 8th Birthday. She was sitting in front of her cake, the candle was already blown out. The Boys, still so small but already best friends, were on each side of her. His brother Lawrence had cake on his face and Linda was holding the camera so she could also be on the picture. Her arm holding the camera almost filled up half of the picture. Perry was next to his brother behind Candace and had the biggest smile on his face. He looked so young and happy. He remembered that day well. It was only a week before he got the case with Cara for the first time. Before everything went wrong. 

He saw the tears before he felt them. Quickly he wiped them away and tried to pull himself together. He had to get out of the small depressing room and go for a walk even if it was just around the Headquarters premises or down the road. He couldn’t sit here and feel sorry for himself any longer.

He changed his clothes into something more casual. He found a black t-shirt and blue jeans in his bag. He wouldn’t go and meet his old colleagues. He didn’t think they wanted to see him anyway. Instead he turned the other way and walked down the road, where Monograms’ van had disappeared earlier. 

Lost in thoughts he didn’t notice how far away he had walked and only stopped when he noticed a poster on a pole. 

_“Lost Platypus”_  
_Have you seen this Platypus? Teal furr, brown eyes. Listens to the name Perry._  
_If you’ve seen him please contact the Flynn-Fletcher Family with the number below”_

Below that was a picture of him as a Platypus and a phone number. That’s right, he didn’t come home yesterday night. Of course they would be worried already. 

Perry looked around. Down the road he notices a young girl, who was putting the poster up. It was Stacy.

His hand already raised, he was about to greet the girl. She knew about his crime-fighting secret as a platypus. But she didn’t know that the Platypus was also Candace’s Uncle Perry. The girls weren’t friends yet when Perry disappeared and Stacey would probably not recognise him. 

_I can’t tell her_ , he realised and lowered his hand again. He should also talk to Monogram before he contacts his family. And that included Stacy. He swallows his disappointment down. He would have liked to talk to someone who understands. 

Quickly he turned around before Stacy could notice him and pulled out his phone. It was among the things Monty gave him to stay in contact with him. Without really thinking about it he dialed Doofenshmirtz’s number. 

He would listen, Perry knew or at least help him to stop thinking about it. He was so sick of feeling guilty all the time.

The scientist didn’t pick up so Perry turned to leave a text message. 

_“Thanks again for letting me crash at your place yesterday. Sorry, you got another Agent for the time being. I’ll be back soon so don’t even think about being thwarted by somebody else. How did Vanessa take it all in? - Perry_ ”

  
He re-read the message five times before sending it. Did it sound too clingy? Did it sound too much like he missed him already? In the end he decided to just send it. It was what he wanted to say and he had vowed to be more honest to his nemesis from now on. 

Perry went back to the Headquarters. He didn’t get an answer for the rest of the day.

He tried not to feel too hurt about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I finally have the story mostly figured out! There will be a bit more action in the following chapters, so bear with me. I hope you like it.
> 
> As always critique is very welcome and please let me know what you think!


	5. The Return of the Rogue Rabbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So,” Monty began with a cheeky smile. “What exactly happened?”
> 
> Perry felt his cheeks go red. “Nothing... He said he needed time to think about it all. But he also said I could text him and now he isn’t answering me and I am slowly thinking I ruined everything between us now.”
> 
> “The way you are acting, I can’t believe that, between the two of us, I am the teenager here.”
> 
> “You’re twenty-two, Monty.”
> 
> “And you are slowly aging towards forty. So is Doofenshmirtz. You are adults who can be honest about each other and make it work. Just give him some time, okay?”
> 
> Perry gave him an offended look. “I can’t believe you just called me aging.”

_Dear Dr. Doofenshmirtz,_

_due to a few unplanned changes in our department your regular nemesis Agent P. Will not be available to visit you for the agreed regular check-ups. For an unknown time you will therefore get an substitute Agent from our partners in Canada, the C.O.W.C.A. : Agent Lyla Lolliberry._

_Thank you for understanding._

_O.W.C.A_

Heinz signed. Perry warned him this could happen, but why did it have to be Agent Lyla Loliberry? She is way too nice, it’s annoying. His mind wandered back to the last time they had met. He wondered if she had known back then that Perry wasn’t actually a Platypus. He felt a sting of pain at the thought. 

After Perry had left, Heinz had watched the final season of the Telenola they had watched together, but it wasn’t as fun without the agent. The final ended in a cliffhanger that he could barely savour. Watching Telenovelas all day wasn’t fun anymore, all alone. Vanessa had left to go to her room as soon as they were finished discussing the new Perry situation. She took it remarkably well. She had asked a few questions about Perry’s health and if she would see him again, but when Heinz told her he didn’t know, she smiled like she knew something he didn’t and left. Whatever that meant.

He tried not to think about it. 

He tried not to think about _any_ of it. 

  
Not expecting to hear from Perry anytime soon, he started to clean up the living room. Then the kitchen. Eventually he cleaned the bathroom and his bedroom, until he really couldn’t put it off anymore and entered his work room where he stored all his old Inators, that still worked, spare parts and - most importantly - traps. 

  
Somehow, adapting all his traps for the new Perry felt like the final step. It felt like he was finally accepting that Perry - the way he had known him - would never come back the same way and everything between them would change now. Not just their relationship - obviously that was different now - but the way they did what they did. 

  
How would he monologue now, knowing that Perry could interrupt him anytime, since he could now actually speak. How would he even fight the man? Perry was huge now, compared to his Platypus-Form before. He could probably throw Heinz over one of his broad shoulders without breaking a sweat. Heinz could imagine Perry’s biceps around his chest, throwing him on the other side of the room with a single arm, pressing him against the wall and- 

_Shit_. Heinz was thinking about the kiss again.

Trying to get his mind off this, he grabbed the closest Inator and started disassembling it into its parts.

How could he fight Perry at all? One look from the teal-haired agent and Heinz would probably end his evil ways, just because he asked. 

But he didn’t ask, did he?

Perry had said last night that he didn’t really want much to change between them, considering their nemesis-status. And that’s what Heinz wanted. He couldn’t imagine having a new nemesis and he couldn’t really imagine himself giving up his evil ways just yet. 

_Then why the hell had Perry kissed him?_

Because there was no way this relationship could ever work. What would that even look like? Fighting each other in the morning and then dating in the afternoon? Was that allowed? 

Heinz broke the remaining parts of the Inator in his hands. He signed, ignoring the pain in his hands.  
Heinz had wanted the kiss. He moved first, after all. How could he not? Perry was charming and beautiful and then he had said everything Heinz had ever wanted to hear from the little agent and Heinz’s heart had felt so full it threatened to jump out of his throat. 

He regretted it almost instantly. He still did. Somehow, he could accept that Perry was now human. He could accept that he hadn’t told him. He even understood the mistakes Perry had made in his past. Sure Perry was now different but he was still Perry. Agent P. The guy who listens to Heinz’s problems, gives him unimpressed stares during his monologue, and kicks his butt if he tries to solve his problems in illegal - and much easier - ways. 

And that kiss had ruined it all, because now everything had changed between them. Not just work. Not just the way Perry looked and talked. But everything between them as well and he could never get that back. 

Heinz hated change. 

Why else had he never considered a new career after he decided to be evil? It wasn’t because he was good at it. Since he obviously wasn’t. And it wasn’t because he was so passionate about it. (That passion had died years ago.) He never changed what he always did until something else forced him to.

He had changed his life after his parents threw him out. He changed his life when Vanessa was born. And it seems he would change his life for Perry now.

Even though he still didn’t know what that meant. 

“I am not even going to think about it anymore!” He told himself.

“Think about what?” Vanessa held her head into the workroom and grinned when her dad flinched at her sudden voice.

“There is someone at the door for you. Did you not hear the door?”

Heinz only shook his head. “Who is it?” he asked and his daughter shrugged. “I don’t know him. He wanted to see you. I’ll be up in my room, okay?”

When Heinz opened the door to his flat he was greeted by an unfamiliar face with a big mess of platinum blond hair on top of it. The man was young but tall. His bright blue eyes were only rivaled by his shining white teeth that he showed off with a big smile.

For a second Doofenshmirtz wondered if this man was about to try to sell him some toothpaste. But the man’s clothes didn’t look like he was there for business. He wore a white shirt and blue jeans, that looked like he had just recently lost a lot of weight. 

“Doctor Doofenshmirtz!” The young man greeted him with much enthusiasm.

“Do I know you?” 

“Yes! But you probably don’t remember me like this. The last time we saw each other I was still a small white bunny.” His wide smile didn’t falter as he demonstrated with his two hands how small exactly he used to be. “Remember? You were the one who got me out the prison at the O.W.C.A!”

Doofenshmirtz suddenly remembered. “Dennis the Rogue Rabbit”, he eyed the man before him. “Aw, but you used to be so cute.” he said sarcastically.

“Yeah, sure.” Dennis’s smile faltered a bit. “We were a good team back then, weren’t we?”

Heinz remembered their plan well back then. He had needed someone with natural instincts who could execute his plan while he waited and provided the technical support. It was what he was good at after all. Dennis got a metal exoskeleton to finally defeat Perry the Platypus.

“That was when you were still a rabbit. And you remember how that plan ended, don’t you?” He leaned closer. “You failed. Spectacularly, I might add.” 

To his surprise, Dennis grinned again. “Well I am not a rabbit anymore. And I have the perfect plan on how to defeat him this time.” 

Before Heinz could so much as frown, Dennis had already squeezed by and entered his flat. An unpleasant feeling spread in his chest, but he didn’t object.

 _Well,_ Heinz thought, _Perry had said he didn’t want anything to change._

"So what is this plan of yours? It better be good."

Doofenshmirtz turned after he closed the door and suddenly found himself with a needle in his arm. The pain in his shoulder slowly spread through his whole body.  
"

What-", has gasped. Shark-like teeth shined in the dimly lit foyer. 

"Oh, my plan is brilliant," the former bunny whispered. Heinz’s body turned numb and he collapsed on the floor. "I promise."

Heinz’s vision went black. 

He was unconscious before he could worry if Vanessa would be able to escape in time.

###

It’s been seventeen hours since Perry had sent that text and he had re-read his message forty-seven times since then.   
It wasn’t too intrusive, right? Was he asking for too much? Should he have given Heinz more time to process the whole situation they were now in? He seemed fine yesterday morning! Did he change his mind? Did he not want to have Perry as his nemesis anymore?

It’s been seventeen hours and he still had nothing else to do. Monogram and Carl just told him to lay low, again and again.

Which Perry did. Very low actually. He still hadn’t talked to any of his coworkers. When his roommate Kim came home late yesterday night, Perry pretended to be already asleep. Then this morning Kim was allowed to move out. Carl had organized him a flat. Since Kim had no family in the states who missed him, or could recognize him, he wasn’t a risk to the organisation’s secret about the transformations. 

Perry was one of the few agents who actually had a family that would recognize them. By now there were maybe four agents left in the Headquarters, waiting to be told that after five years, they were allowed to go home. Or to a new home.

He wanted to ask Agent Charles again if he had any news regarding Dennis or Cara, but he knew he would just see the same conflicted expression on his old friend’s face. If they had anything they would call right away, he had said so before. All Perry could do was wait. 

He looked at his phone again. Seventeen hours and twenty-three minutes. Still no answer. Heinz was the only person Perry wanted to talk to right now. Perry needed to know if they were alright. At this point, he would almost do anything to make sure that he didn’t just ruin the one good relationship, that he could actually hold, from the past five years. 

  
He felt like his life had fallen into pieces after a single night. 

  
Seventeen hours and twenty-four minutes. Okay, maybe he was obsessing a little bit. But he could do nothing else right now anyway so he could at least make sure he and Heinz were okay.

“Monty?” The young man sat at one of the tables in the cafeteria, a huge pile of documents in front of him.

"Hey Perry", Monty gestured to him to sit down on the seat opposite him. “Before you ask: No, there are no updates yet and I still have nothing to do for you.” He moved a few of his documents to make space for the agent. Perry signed.

“Actually I was wondering if you could tell me who was supervising Doofenshmirtz currently.” 

At that Monty looked up. “Why? Do you think he is going to try something after all?”

“Er... not necessarily. I just…” Perry blushed and nervously played with the buttons on his shirt. “I wanted to make absolutely sure he doesn’t, you know?” 

Monty raised his eyebrows sceptically. “Well, if there was anything happening, Agent Loliberry would tell us immediately, so don’t worry.”

“Agent Loliberry? I bet he wasn’t happy about that.” Perry chuckled to himself. 

“No, I guess not, but she was already familiar with him, so it made the most sense.” Monty went back to his documents. 

“Do you have her contact info?” Perry dared to ask after a short pause.

Monty frowned. “Why?” The young man leaned back and crossed his arms in front of his chest. A mischievous look on his face he asked again: “What is going on with you?” 

Perry bit his lower lip and felt his cheek go red. He was an agent for fuck’s sake! He should be better at hiding his intentions than this. Monty narrowed his eyes and Perry felt himself surrender.   
He had to talk to somebody about it! He sighed.

“It’s just- Heinz didn’t answer my text and I just wanted to make sure we were okay, after I dumped all that on him yesterday!" He pointed at himself. "It’s not like him to ignore me.” Perry confessed. Monty’s gaze didn’t falter. “I just want to ask Loliberry what he is doing. Maybe his phone broke again. I need to know if I should worry yet or not.” 

Monty shook his head, “No.” he said. 

“No?” Perry repeated dumbfounded. 

“There is more. You are not telling me everything.” 

Perry rolled his eyes. “I see you were finally admissioned to your Interrogation classes.” 

“Exactly. And I think I know what is going on here.” Monty folded his hands on the table. “I have Information you want but you have to give me a good reason why I should help you out here.”

Perry mirrored his stance. “What do you want to know?” he said in a controlled voice. 

“I want to know what happened two nights ago. You have never spent a whole night at Doofenshmirtz’s flat before. What did you talk about? What did you do?” 

“I mostly felt pretty ill. He let me rest on his couch a bit.” Perry offered.

Monty smirked. “No, that’s not all.” Now it was Perry’s turn to narrow his eyes as the soon-to-be agent. “You need to tell me more if you want Loliberry’s number.

“I don’t know what else to tell you. That’s what happened.” 

“Alright I’ll ask questions then.” Monty suddenly put on a serious face. “Did you sleep in his room?”

“Where is this going, Monty?” 

“Answer the question.”

“The guest room.” Perry corrected. 

“Did he carry you to bed?” 

“No. I could walk myself.” 

“So you were already in better shape by the evening. That contradicts your former statement that you were just resting.” 

Perry crooked his head. “That’s hardly contradicting”

“So you two spend some time together, correct?”

Perry suppressed the habit of biting his lower lip anxiously. “Yes, we drank some wine. He said it would help with the weird feeling I got after the transformation.” 

“But you were there all day. Did he cook for you?”

“Yes.”

“Did he try to poison you?”

“No-”

“Did he try to fight you?”

“At first-”

“Continue his plan?”

“No,-

“Did you kiss?”

Perry didn’t expect that question and tried to quelch his surprised reaction, but something must have shown on his face because Monty’s eyes suddenly went wide. 

“Oh my god! You totally did!” 

“Listen-” Perry tried to explain, but Monty wasn’t even looking at him anymore.

“I can’t believe this!” He yelled at the table. 

“Monty-”

“I was mostly joking! I didn’t think you’d actually-”

“Please don’t tell your father, -”

“I owe Carl fifty dollars!” 

Perry spluttered “W- What!?” Monty only shook his head in disappointment..

“You bet on me?” Perry asked. “What the hell?”

Monty changed the subject suddenly. “I can’t believe you fell for that interrogation tactic. It was like the most basic level. Weren’t you trained to dodge those kinds of questions?”

Perry let his head fall on the desk. “Urgh, cut me some slack, I just had the most confusing forty-eight hours.” 

“Yeah, fair enough.” He paused. 

“I can’t believe you bet on me.” Perry mumbed from under the table. 

“Perry, come on. It was obvious. We all know you could have defeated him ages ago. Got him the help he needed and then moved on to the next case. But you stayed for four years, listened to his problems, helped him with his family, and somehow became his friend. The whole fighting has been more like an old habit for some time now, huh?” 

Perry slowly raised his head. “I guess. Was it that obvious?”

“To me and Carl, it was. Don’t worry, my dad still doesn’t have a clue.” Perry didn’t feel as relieved as he thought he would with that information. 

“So,” Monty began with a cheeky smile. “What exactly happened?”

Perry felt his cheeks go red. “Nothing... He said he needed time to think about it all. But he also said I could text him and now he isn’t answering me and I am slowly thinking I ruined everything between us now.”

“The way you are acting, I can’t believe that, between the two of us, I am the teenager here.”

“You’re twenty-two, Monty.”

“And you are slowly aging towards forty. So is Doofenshmirtz. You are adults who can be honest about each other and make it work. Just give him some time, okay?”

Perry gave him an offended look. “I can’t believe you just called me _aging._ ”

Monty laughed. “It will be alright.” After a small pause he pulled up a small piece of paper and scribbled something on it. “But if you need the confirmation that he isn’t already planning how to leave the country-” he added sarcastically “- here is Lolliberries number.” Perry took it. 

“You know you are obsessing a bit about this, aren't you?”

“Yeah, but I have nothing else to obsess about right now.” Perry admitted. 

Monty’s phone began ringing then. “Let’s hope this is something that can take your mind off things.” he said before he answered the phone. “What do you have for me, Charles?” 

Perry could only make out a faint murmur of the voice on the phone, but according to Monty’s expression it was big news.

“Yes, thank you. See you soon.” Monty hung up and turned to Perry. 

“They found Dennis.”

###

The man in the interrogation room was definitely Perry’s former partner Dennis Wright. The man was around fifty years old now, and still looked fit. His hair was white from age, just like it had been five years ago. His suit was a bit torn in some places, there were deep lines under his eyes. He looked exhausted. 

Perry couldn’t imagine him being the angry white rabbit that had gone rogue and fought him in the past years.

“Why did you arrest me, Charles? You know me! We were partners!” He sounded more confused than angry.

Through the window Perry watched Charles sit down on the opposite side of the table and place a picture on the table. “Look familiar?”, asked and pointed at the picture. Perry couldn’t see if from behind the Mirror-Window. 

Dennis leaned over to look at the picture.“That’s a white bunny.” he said in an unimpressed tone.

“Do you know him?” Agent Charles asked.

 _What a weird question to ask in an interrogation,_ Perry thought. 

  
“No.” Dennis answered, surprisingly. In the Interrogation room Charles shared a look with Peter, who had not said a single word yet. 

  
“Will you finally tell me what is going on?” Dennis pleaded. 

They ignored him. “What did you do in the past five years? Where were you?”

Dennis ran his hands through his hair, messing it up a bit. “I- It was all so messed up. After the fight in the lair I was- I don’t know. I must have tripped or something because when I woke up I was in a sewer under the lair, I think. And-” Dennis stopped talking for a moment. 

“Keep going.” Peter encouraged him. But Dennis only shook his head. “You’re not going to believe me, anyway.” 

“Try me.”

“I was a sloth.” 

Everyone was suddenly silent. Peter and Charles stared at Dennis and, what Dennis couldn’t see, so were Perry and Monty behind the mirror. 

“A sloth?” Charles repeated. Dennis nodded. “See, I knew you wouldn’t believe me.”

Charles turned around to look through the window where he knew Perry was watching, his expression unreadable. “No, I believe you,” he eventually said to Dennis. “What happened then?” 

Dennis started explaining. After he found himself in an unknown path in the sewers, unable to climb back up, he started crawling deeper inside until he found a ladder. By the time he had climbed the ladder halfway he was hungry, tired and still very confused about the whole situation. 

He didn’t know how much time had passed because it was always dark in the sewer system, but at one point a few construction workers found him and sent him to an animal rehabilitation clinic, where he was under constant surveillance. No way to escape. The humans who found him were confused about where he had come from, but they assumed he was brought into the county for illegal animal trading. After his recovery he spent some years in the Danville Zoo, but then one day they decided to sign him up for the breeding program and send him to another city.

“I wasn’t about to let that happen!” Dennis explained, “So I made an escape plan.” Afterwards he lived off scraps from the street for a few months, until thankfully a family found him. The mother was vat and they decided to keep him, so he lived another year with them. Then suddenly, when the family wasn’t home, he turned back into a human without a warning. He pulled himself together and went back to the headquarters as soon as possible. “I didn’t know where else to go. I never had a family outside of O.W.C.A. And that is when you found me and brought me here,” Dennis finished his story.

Charles and Peter questioned him on the family that took him in, wrote down names and addresses of the places Dennis claimed to have stayed at. They promised Dennis that they would explain as soon as they looked into his alibi, and left.

They met Perry and Monty in the file room, where they could speak privately. The Agents had serious looks on their faces. Monty shifted form one foot to the other nervously, like he wasn’t sure he was supposed to be there, but also didn’t want to leave. The dark lightning in the room did nothing to hide Peter’s angry face. 

“What the hell, Perry!?” Charles barked. “It was you back then who assured us that the white rabbit was Dennis!”

“I know, but-”

“Wait, you believe him?”, Monty challenged him. “He could still be the white rabbit and just lie about it all!” 

Charles rolled his eyes at the young trainee. “Obviously we will check his statement, but it seemed pretty believable to me!”

“It was a confusing time back then, okay? To all of us! And our system to find out who turned into whom was not exactly foolproof! Monogram basically just held up pictures and asked us to step forward if it was us!” Perry justified himself.

“Sorry to interrupt, but what exactly happened right after the transformation?” Monty then asked.

Charles explained: “Well we were a bit confused at first, right? The transformation hurt and made us dizzy, at least in my case. One of us managed to send out an emergency signal to Monogram. He and Carl - who had just finished his first week as an intern - came in themselves, because there was no one left. By the time they came in, we were awake and had realised what had happened.” 

“Thank god for Carl, because Monogram didn’t even think that those animals could be us,” Perry continued. “But Carl noticed the hats lying around and noticed that a few of us had started trying to write something into the dirt or even on paper. He told Monogram about it and he and Carl organized a few vehicles that would take us all back to the headquarters for further investigation.” For a second the older Agents were silent.

Eventually Peter spoke up for the first time. “It was humiliating to be put into those small cages and being handled,” he spat the last word with disgust. Perry and Charles just nodded. 

“What happened then?” Monty asked.

“It took us a few days to get the hang of our new bodies.” Perry explained. “But after some time we were able to almost move around like we used to. We could write and imitate human facial expressions and gestures. In every way we could, we explained what happened to your father and Carl. We waited a few months until It was clear that the effects were here to stay. Monogram made the first plans to integrate us back into a normal life as animals with human awareness.” 

Charles continued. “He fought hard for the permission to have us work for the agency. Thank god. I think I would have gone insane if I had lost my connection to my old life. I can’t imagine what Dennis must have thought all this time alone as a sloth.” 

“If he is even telling the truth.” Perry pointed out again. “He could be just playing us.”

“Did he not seem sincere to you? Come on, Perry, we all used to play poker together, we know what it looks like when he is bluffing!”

Perry shook his head, looking conflicted. “But there was no one else there.” He made a significant pause and pointed in the direction of the interrogation room. “If Dennis really is telling the truth, then who the hell is the white rabbit that terrorized the O.W.C.A. for the past years !? Carl and Monogram took all animals from Cara’s secret lair after the transformation, right? That means whoever is the white rabbit must have been there that day, but there was no one else there! The only non-Agent was Cara and I saw that she managed to escape. Just barely, but she was definitely not there anymore when Monogram came.” 

The group thought everything over. “So, assuming the old Dennis is telling the truth.” Monty started slowly, “We know absolutely nothing about the white Rabbit. We don’t know who he is, what he wants and therefore not what he could be doing right now. So where do we start?”

Peter nodded and then suggested in his monotone voice: ”The first thing we have to do is check Dennis’s alibi. I will go and do that. Maybe we are lucky and he really is the white Rabbit. Then we don’t have a problem. I propose you go back to the secret lair. See if you can find anything that we missed.” 

  
“I don’t think anyone ever went back there after the transformation.” Charles frowned. Which Perry realised was true. There had been a lot going on after everything had changed so drastically and there simply hasn’t been a point in doing so. 

Peter just shrugged. “Then it’s even more important that you do so now. Maybe there are clues about who the Rabbit could be.” 

“I’ll go too.” Monty suddenly said loudly. Perry and Charles shared a look. “Monty-”

“No way am I staying here while you have all the fun. My dad said to keep an eye on you and I am not exactly needed here. Everything is settled. I am coming with you.”

Charles nodded. “I was just gonna say that I thought you were coming anyway, but sure, call Monogram and then let’s go.” The Agents turned to leave.

Perry suddenly felt dread creep up on him. His hands were sweaty and his neck ran cold.

They were really going back to the place where it all ended. Or where it had all begun. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone reading this and leaving so many nice comments! 
> 
> To be honest, I thought this fandom was pretty much dead and I did not expect so much positive feedback! It motivated me to write this a lot faster, so thank you. 
> 
> (This chapter was a bit hard to write. I hope it is all understandable. There will be many explanations in the next chapter but, please let me know If you had trouble following the plot. Also note that this is not beta-read and english is not my first language. If you find mistakes or something that just doesn't make sense, feel free to tell me. )
> 
> Let me know what you think! <3


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